Laid

“We’ll get you laid tonight, I guarantee it,” Tommy said, and laughed at something Jake did. “Stop that!” he said.

I looked around the train, almost everyone in pairs, some still just now coming home from work, most dressed to go clubbing, a single guy on a laptop, headphones connected to it. His glasses kept sliding down his nose. I wanted to fuck someone like that, someone kind of bookish and nerdy. Tommy and Jake didn’t know anyone bookish and nerdy. The only reason they knew the Latin names for their body parts was so they could say what they got pierced.

“Okay, I’m just so nervous,” I said. “If I don’t… if I change my mind, can I just not? I mean you guys…. Don’t embarrass me, okay? Don’t just grab someone and throw him on me. I’m delicate.”

Tommy was still laughing at Jake and letting out little bits of “Ouch!” and “Hey!” I doubted he was listening to anything I said. “I’m bringing Lisa, alright?”

“I’m going to hang up on you,” Tommy said. “You are not bringing Lisa.”

“No, I’m not. Just seeing if you were paying attention.”

“Did you take it?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, feeling the pill in my pocket. I opened the bottle of vitamin water between my thighs and pulled the pill out. I looked right at the bookish guy, hoping, for some reason, that he would see me take it. He looked up for a second, but not at me. The train lurched around a corner and his laptop tried to fly away. He caught it, arranged it again, and continued to scroll. I opened my mouth and threw the pill in. It tasted like my sister’s birth control pill that I took when I was a kid, thinking it was candy, all powdery aspirin, but bigger. A swig of the sweeter vitamin water and the deed was done.

I hung up with Tommy, only to get a picture from him a few seconds later, a come shot on his own face.

I was, you see, a gay virgin. Tommy and Jake, friends of my ex-girlfriend’s. And yeah, I wondered all the time what they were telling her.

The train stopped in Boy’s Town and the pill hit me on the way down the stairs. They were suddenly impossible to traverse and I let people pass me so that I could take my time, control my unsure feet. Light came down from miniature suns dressed as lightbulbs. I looked down. Litter was beautiful, colors popped at me from Coke cans and water bottles. The perfect red. The perfect blue. Friends yelled at each other on the way out of taxis and into bars. I couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying, only the timbre of their voices, the vibration I’d never noticed before.

The night was warm and I began to sweat. The breeze took it away just when I needed it to. It felt like God blowing the sting from a wound. Thinking about walking and actually walking seemed irreconcilable, so I ended the struggle and simply waited, musing on one bright light or another, until I found Tommy and Jake’s buzzer, closed one eye and pressed it.

“He can’t get laid,” I heard Jake tell my ex in my head. “He just freezes up. Hasn’t had sex in two years.”

And then her snicker. Not a mean one, just all-knowing.

MEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I fumbled with the door, panicked that it wouldn’t open, and threw myself inside. Creaky stairs recently furnished with alarmingly slippery carpet, more sunbulbs, and then Jake grabbing my arm. He took my face and looked into my eyes. I saw what he was looking for when I looked at his, pupils like caverns. You could store your change in them.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“A little sick, but good,” I said, surprised I could talk. “Where are they?”

“Oh, you mean the party, hon?” Tommy asked from somewhere deep in Jake’s pupils. “It’s just arrived. You, Jake, me and your cock.”

“A full house,” said Jake.

“Well, our cocks too,” Tommy said.

“Yes, we can’t forget about those,” Jake said.

“Couldn’t if we tried,” Tommy said.

“No.”

“No.”

“Hey!” I said, negotiating my way around to a less populated part of their designer carpet. I was giggling. Giggling! “What the fuck are you guys talking about?” The X hit the sides of my mouth then and it locked itself in a Batman’s Joker, mom-told-me-so smile.

“I don’t see what’s funny, do you, Jake?” Tommy said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. They fought their drugs. I didn’t know what I was up against.

“No, Tommy. I think it’s all been pretty clear cut.”

“Unambiguous,” Tommy said.

“Straight to the point,” said Jake.

“We don’t even need him, really.”

“Not at all, Tommy, but we’d like to have him.”

“This is his party after all.”

I laughed. I giggled. I covered my mouth and felt my face get red under it.

“He’s adorable like this, don’t you think, Tommy?”

“Oh, you know, Jake, I think he’s adorable all the time, but this is something else.”

“Maybe if he had a drink?”

Tommy’s eyebrows raised. He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me. “No.”

“Whiskey dick.”

“Whiskey dick.”

“Who should go in?”

“Both, I think.”

“Both,” Jake agreed.

My mouth still covered, I watched the two of them, four bare feet spreading and settling and lifting and swinging over to me, closer and closer. And there was breath, and the salt sour of men, hard muscles and rough skin. Men. A hand over mine on my face, shaking, the smell of wax. They’d put candles out. Explains why they were flickering. One arm around my back and another around my front and they were wandering, pulling clothes in every direction, and breath, more breath. Inhale. Tongue on my jawbone. Exhale. Thumb in my belt. Inhale. Cock on my thigh. Exhale. Rough denim on bare skin. Inhale. His bare chest on my back, sticking. Exhale. Cologne, the good kind. Inhale. Sex. Exhale. Sex.

“Tommy,” in my ear, “suck him off. He should know how a man does it.”

Not a nice thing to say about the ex. Maybe they haven’t been telling her anything. Then there were lips, strong ones like a muscle vise twisting the tip of me, and then down, sex filling in the gaps like water spreading on a windshield. Pop, it went, pop.

“That’s beautiful. Not too much, though, Tommy.” There was a cock between my asscheeks, nothing like what I used to play with when she was out, turkey basters and the tiny, cheap vibrator she kept under the bedside table. “This one’s so backed up he might blow your head off. And do it quick.” I got a little scared, worried that they would be too high to know if they were hurting me. Tommy’s lips tickled a low bliss in me, that feeling that you get just before the feeling that you get just before the feeling you’re going to come. It stayed, though. Didn’t progress. Just poltergeisted around my body, bumping into organs. Then it stopped and I stumbled, a little dizzy. I blinked a few times and looked down at Jake. He leaned back on his ankles, his lips swollen.

“Water,” I said. “We should have water.”

“Water!” Jake said. “Of course!”

They took the back of my arms and walked me down their long hallway, green-beige paint and framed pictures that Tommy took when he was just starting out.

“I can’t believe you guys,” I said. The sentence formed itself. I never would have thought that out.

“We never would have let you go out there without any…,” one of them said.

“Training,” said the other.

“Experience.”

“Base of knowledge.”

“Yes.”

The kitchen stretched before us, halogen in brushed steel and then in my eyes. They steered me around it and lifted me onto the sink. Cold. Pointy in parts. I pushed against the backwash and waited.

“This is fun, isn’t it, sweetheart?” Tommy said.

“Better than all those big parties,” Jake said.

Time stopped and Jake leaned into Tommy, seemed to smell his lips for a moment, then turned and kissed him. They went deep. I watched them like a movie in very uncomfortable seats. They went faster, panted, then slowed. Tommy released and whispered something in Jake’s ear, then gave his earlobe a sharp nibble. Jake gushed a little and took Tommy’s hand to his cock. “Mmm,” Jake said.

“The. Business. At. Hand,” said Tommy.

“Yes,” Jake said and gave my knee a slap. “Our duty.”

Tommy turned quickly and grabbed the faucet, which stretched to become a dish sprayer. He held my ass cheeks open and sprayed. Everything about me twitched.

“Too warm?” Jake said.

“Too fucking cold.”

Then it turned icy, and there was a smirk on Jake’s face. Tommy and he exchanged a look and they bit their lips to keep from laughing. I heard dish soap, then felt wandering fingers, slippery, then tight and sticky. Jake whistled, walked to the refrigerator, got a bottle of water and drank most of it in three big gulps. He burped, wiped his face and looked at me. His cock sloped from his stomach, clean and as tan as the rest of him. He watched me watch him. Then he broke into a smile, remembering my shameful innocence. He did a little dance, his cock flipping back and forth, then up and down, going “Huh? Yeah. Huh? Different when it’s not yours, isn’t it?”

“You’d be shocked at how good my imagination has gotten.”

“Ha! Tommy!”

“Yeah,” Tommy said, and took my chin. He put more soap on his fingers and plunged them in my asshole. I whimpered. “Oooooo,” he said, reacting to my reaction.

“He’s been jerking off and pretending it’s someone else’s dick.”

“Who hasn’t.”

“Me.”

“Amateur.”

He held me open and sent the shower right up my ass. I let my eyelids close and felt every drop, on another crest of a wave, my eyes spinning like a cartoon character inside. I exhaled hard, would break a rib if I held it any more.

“Jake, he’s ready now, I think.”

“Bed?”

“Floor?”

“Table?”

“Bed!” I said. “Bed, please!”

“Give the newbie a break?” Tommy asked.

Jake sighed visibly, his shoulders hanging like an incredulous teenager. “Whatever.”

“Lucky,” Tommy said. “First time we fucked it was on a fucking fire escape.”

“Rust in your knees.”

“I remember.”

They shared another moment while Tommy hooked his arm around my back and pulled me down. “Come on!” Jake said and slapped my ass all the way to the bedroom. Even that felt good on X. It tingled and burned like a good scratch on an itch. “Thank you,” I heard myself say. And another slap.

Jake ran up behind me in the bedroom and bent me forcefully over the covers. I felt heat and wet approach my asshole, then a pair of lips. “Oh my God holy Jesus holy fucking Christ, arrrrrrrgh!” flew out of my mouth. “What is… that’s just… oh fuck that’s insane!” The room turned red and dark. The color burned me. It was indescribable. It was madness. Who the fuck knew? His tongue swept out, twisted on me. “Stop! Oh God, stop! That’s too much!” My thighs were losing me. I didn’t own them anymore.

“Okay,” Jake said, just over my asshole and I could feel that too, my whole body a drumhead, being played. Tommy got on the bed and knee walked to me. He pulled my head up and pulled my knees apart. “Good, Jake?”

“Good.” He spanked me. “Relax.”

Tommy’s lips enveloped my cock and I was grateful. So grateful. But there was another sound behind me. Latex crickle and slap. “Relax, newbie,” Jake said again. I tried. Fingers again, lubricated and forceful. “Relax. There you go.” They were in, more, more, more. “Breathe out. Okay.” Tommy sped up, found a good rhythm and began to twist as he went. “Good.”

“Owwwww,” I said. “Owwwww.”

“Shh. You’re doing fine.”

“OW,” I said and tried to relax some more.

“There. Now you’re ready.”

There was something then, something much bigger than his fingers. It pressed in. I tried to move forward, but Tommy, guessing what I was doing, pushed me back. They slid me onto Jake, and I gasped there, impaled, getting sucked better than I ever had. Another wave of the drug swelled in my neck and head and I gave up. I gave myself away.

“That’s the way,” Jake said. “He’s tight, Tommy, but he’s not clean anymore.”

“Mmm,” I felt.

“Go. Fuck me,” I said. “Come on and fuck me hard. Show me.”

I got my wish. In two deep hits, my cock exploded and I grabbed the back of Jake’s neck, holding him tight to me, not sure if it was the X or the fuck. I felt like I would fall over either way. “Thank you,” I said.

“What’s his spunk taste like, Tommy?”

Tommy knelt up, cracked his neck and opened my mouth. He pushed my come in with his tongue. I couldn’t close my mouth long enough to swallow it.

“Bend over again,” Tommy said. I could smell his cock before I could taste it, dirt and man. I didn’t know if I could breathe with a blocked mouth so I just waited there. He jerked himself off, hard and continuous. When he came, come I couldn’t feel at first until it cooled, the two of them leaned over me and kissed. “Go on, baby,” Tommy said.

Jake thrust into me a few more times and then stopped. A small whimper, like a girl about to cry, escaped him, followed by a manly grunt. Then he slid out. My ass curled back slowly.

“Is it okay?” Tommy asked. I thought he was talking to me at first, but felt Jake nod. Tommy kissed me, sweet and simple and gentle. “You’re staying tonight, right, you big man?”

I fell down where I was and felt the skin of two men on either side of me reflect my heat. We twitched next to each other for a while, then thought better of it and fought for the shower.