Before the Weddings

“I’m not wearing a stupid crown and that’s that,” Rene, the bride-to-be, said.

“It’s a tiara,” Clara said, her dark hair falling over her ear again, only to be wrapped behind it.

“It’s stupid,” Rene clarified.

“I had to wear one,” Ericka said, leaning forward to twist her pantyhose around her ankle. “Come to think of it, I do believe it’s you who enforced it.” She changed her mind and twisted the pantyhose the opposite direction. Neither method seemed satisfactory, so she dropped her ankle, bent, to the floor of the limousine.

Rene’s arms were crossed, her large breasts taking the brunt of the pressure. Men had accused her of showing off her breasts when crossing her arms. That she had crossed them because she was angry about something never occurred to them. Normally, Rene lay off arm crossing altogether, but she really didn’t want that fucking tiara.

“Yes, I remember that,” Clara said with a nod. “Listen, without the tiara, no one will know which one of us is the sucker.”

“I, for one,” said Ericka, twisting her rings forward, “am looking forward to some good flirtation tonight, and for that, I need you to sacrifice.”



Up the road, headed for the same entrance to the expressway, Andy told Rob that if he can’t tie a fucking tie right, he should just take it off.

“Girls like ties,” Rob said.

“What is that, like a double and a half Windsor? The knot is huge and the front is too short. Just take it off.”

Rob stared angrily at Andy and wondered why he was paying for this thing. Noah reached a hand out. “I’ll do it and give it back to you, okay?”

Noah took the tie and wondered why he offered. He wasn’t too good at tying these things himself. He put it around the back of his neck and concentrated on the balance of the lengths. He stared at the two ends and adjusted, and adjust again, before he had the guts to wrap the fat end around. Andy looked out of the window. He took a flask out of his breast pocket. He’d owned a flask for years, inherited his father’s when he died, and hadn’t used it. He brought it because it seemed that this night called for a flask. He raised it to his lips and took only the smallest of sips. It was still enough to make him wince. His stomach twisted. He still hadn’t made up his mind if he would tonight, should the opportunity arise.

Noah wasn’t sure that his knot was up to Andy’s standards, but gave Rob the tie back. Rob put the tie around his neck and set it. When it was done, Noah pulled the collar out of the back.



Ericka had opened her purse, was rummaging around in it, not knowing what she was looking for. She saw the strip of condoms. She’d argued that she was simply keeping her friends prepared, but some part of her had put them in there for herself.

Andy put the flask back into his breast pocket, flipping the condom that he’d put in there out of the way. He felt a pang of guilt for even having thought about it, but flicked it in his fingers anyway.

The police report read that vehicle one was headed northbound, turning east when southbound vehicle two, also turning east, collided its front bumper with the driver’s side door of vehicle one. There were no injuries and vehicle two was drivable. Vehicle one, however, had a convex door halfway into the driver’s seat.

The women climbed into the men’s limousine, the one that was still drivable, and laughed uncomfortably over the coincidence. Andy handed the flask to Noah, who got up to passing it around the girls. Rene was the only one who took it, her tiara sliding down her forehead as she leaned to take it. Noah pushed it back and smiled at her. Rene smiled back and giggled in a way that Noah found a little forward in a bride-to-be. But his cock, which had never listened to what his head found attractive, roused in his underwear anyway.

They sat quietly for a time.

Clara said, “Where were you guys headed?”

“Don’t know, exactly,” Noah said, trying to distract himself from Rene. “We just asked the driver to take us someplace with girls.”

Rob found this a little naïve-sounding and quickly interjected. “We were headed for Dram Avenue.”

“Yeah, us too,” Clara said. “You know, I will have some of what’s in that flask.”

Rob handed Clara the flask and she took a deep pull on it. She didn’t wince. Andy noticed.

“Which one of you is the victim?” Ericka asked. She had been careful to leave her left hand behind her purse. Noah and Rob pointed to Andy at once. “You?” she asked, pointing at him with what she discovered was her left hand. “You’re too young to get married!”

Andy looked at her and her hand pointedly. “Why? How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-seven.”

“Well, I’m twenty-six.”

“I know I’m too young, but this isn’t about me.”

“When am I supposed to get married then?” Andy asked, finally smiling as wide as Ericka.

“Well, never really.”

“Ohhhh. Wonderful advice.”

While Andy and Ericka talked, Clara leaned forward and dipped her finger in Rob’s tie. “You don’t know how to tie one of these, do you?” she said. She felt the silk run through the pads of her fingers as she loosened it. Rob rearranged himself closer to her, his chin up. Clara looked at his neck and noticed a small mole above the collar. The rest of it was flawless. His face was too close to hers, but she didn’t pull back. He took the tie and swung it around Clara’s neck. She crushed a smile and leaned back to tie it.

Noah and Rene passed the flask back and forth without speaking. Noah tried to watch Clara tie Rob’s tie, but Rene was unflappable, and stared at him as if she were trying to decide which of his body parts would taste best in a stew. His knee shook nervously.

Clara tied the tie quickly and flawlessly and made to give it back to Rob, but he refused it. Clara left it on and loose. “It looks better on you,” Rob said. Bizarre thing to say, he thought, but there was something about it on her that he found attractive.

“This is a nice tie,” Clara said, and flipped it to read the label. “Never heard of the designer, though.”

Rob went onto his knees and knee-walked over to her. Clara couldn’t help but blush. He examined the label on the tie and said he’d never heard of it either. He did not go back to his seat. Clara leaned forward so they could talk more comfortably.

Noah was made very uncomfortable by Rob’s sudden success. He realized that he’d been left with a married woman and the more likely candidate a bride-to-be. An image of the bride-to-be under him flashed in his mind and he rearranged himself on the seat. This was not lost on Rene, who smiled that she still had it. She took the tiara off and placed it on Clara’s head. Clara, in mid-sentence and grinning at Rob, snatched it with barely a pause and placed it back on Rene’s. They fought this way for a few passes before Rob took the tiara, placed it firmly on Rene’s head, pulled Clara to him by his tie and kissed her hard. Clara balked, then leaned into it, pulling Rob closer to her between her knees.

Noah visibly jolted when he saw this, looked at Andy, who glanced but didn’t seem to care, at Ericka who looked with a drawn face for a moment and quickly returned to Andy, finally to Rene, who winked.

“Why did you just wink at me?” Noah said. He had a hard-on like steel that was barely being forced down by his underwear.

“What’s the matter with you men these days?” Rene asked him, leaning forward so that Noah could see down her dress. “Don’t you want to be my last memory?” Noah took one more drink, petrified, and looked at her feet. That he had a foot and shoe fetish was something that neither one of the other men knew about. Rene’s shoes, patent leather pumps that neatly covered her feet, were his special favorite. He wanted to touch them so bad, the slight sticky leather, the give of the soft skin of her feet. Rene saw him looking and her face changed. Here was the solution to everything. Her left foot stretched out and aimed between Noah’s thighs. Noah clamped his knees shut, but Rene pushed harder, the heel catching on the seam of his pants.

“I still feel like her father disapproves,” Andy said. “At the engagement party, he had me follow him in his car to get to the restaurant and he lost me on purpose. Do you believe that?”

“Dads are still dads. I still see that look in my own dad’s eye sometimes when he’s looking at my husband. They never forgive the girl for growing up and blame it on the husband.

“So at least it’s not personal.”

“Yeah.”

Ericka took a glance at what Rene was up to and covered a laugh. Andy looked mortified. “Don’t worry,” Ericka said. “They’re not all like that. I’m sure yours is having a knitting party for her bachelorette.”

Andy sighed and remembered that she probably was. “Were you scared?” he asked Ericka.

“Of course.”

“But you feel better now.”

“Not really.”

Noah lay with his legs spread wide and let Rene do whatever she wanted to do. He didn’t care anymore. His hand hovered over her foot, which was pressed into his cock tightly. His cock ached something awful. She pressed her heel into his balls. He made a small “meep” sound and flushed. He took her other foot, slid the shoe off, and admired her toes through her stockings. The curve of her arch was amazing.

“Hang on,” she said. Her hands slid up her dress and made some snapping sounds. Down came the stocking. He pulled it off and he sucked her toe into his mouth softly. She moaned. Why hadn’t she thought of it? Best alternative ever. His tongue, warm and delightful, tickled the skin of her toes. She always knew she had sexy feet. And Noah, what balls to do this in front of his buddies. A real man, she thought. Her other foot dug deeper into Noah’s crotch, hooked and rubbed over his cock. He unzipped his pants. She went inside.

Rob had fallen into Clara. He was surprised at his sudden desire for her. He hadn’t actually counted on having sex that night. It rarely happened when Noah was around. Noah didn’t do anything wrong, really, just rarely made it his life’s work to fuck a girl. Clara wasn’t his type. She was a little more meaty, softer, than the girls he normally looked for. He felt her soft curves and pressed himself into her, felt her tits press hard into his chest. He leaned over her, raised her shirt, unlatched her bra and looked at them, her breasts, full and bouncy. Her nipples stood out, large and pink. He cupped one and pressed deep into the other. Clara began to breathe hard. She looked at Rene’s friend, pressed into the couch, sucking on Rene’s toes. Rene’s friend looked back at her, clearly in some other level of ecstasy. Clara felt her pussy swell. She took Rob’s hand and brought it in.

Rene slipped the other two clasps of her garter belt apart and pulled her foot out of Noah’s pants. “Pull it out,” she said.

Andy and Ericka had stopped looking. Their eyes stood fixed together, though their necks fought to turn. Though they didn’t acknowledge it, they were breathing fast too. Andy’s fingers bore down on the leather of his armrest and Ericka’s fingernails bit into hers. “Did the mothers fight?” she asked.

“With each other, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“No, mine stayed out of it. She was about to do something once and Denise’s mother kind of fired a warning shot.”

“What do you mean?”

“She offered to pay for the flowers and Denise’s mother just about broke into tears.”

“Brings out the worst in them.”

“Perfectly sane people before.”

“Wait until they start in on the babies,” Ericka said. She was interrupted by a loud gasp from Clara. Neither Andy nor Ericka looked.

Clara moaned because Rob had entered her. Her neck bent against the back of her seat and she wrapped her thighs around him. Her skirt bunched uncomfortably under her ass, but she couldn’t move it, didn’t move it. Rob began to pump, here in front of everyone and she could come just thinking about it. She pulled her muscles tight around him, watched the tension in his shoulders, the bend of his body as he thrust. She wondered if Rene was watching.

Rene was watching. Noah, cock out and being stroked by her toes, sticky with his saliva, saw her fishing through her purse. She popped her other shoe off on his knee and pinched the tip of his cock between her toes. The big one was perfectly oval. They were dumbfounding. She pulled a bottle of lube out of her purse. She carried lube in her purse. This woman was completely out of his league. She caught some of his precome between her toes and played with it. Stretched it and rubbed it. She handed him the Astroglide.

Rob fucked this girl hard, left grip streaks on her arms, bruises on her breasts with his teeth. Her eyes turned up and she screamed out, ending in a whimper, her muscles clutching and easing on his cock. He buried his face in her neck and bit it too, listening to her panting above him.

Noah poured the lube out over his cock and stared at Rene helplessly. He was trying not to look at her engagement ring. He saw Rob instead, pumping for all his life into Rene’s friend. He never knew it had come to this. Always thought of himself as the only pervert in any room. But here was Rob just fucking away right in front of him. He was so distracted that the pressure on both sides of his cock came unexpectedly. He looked down and saw Rene’s feet, his cock pushing through both arches. He gingerly, reverently, pressed them both in tighter.

Clara had come but it was only the beginning. That was the nervous one, the novelty. She could feel the real one building and was glad, suddenly, that her friends were here, that they would be here for this bomb that was coming, whistling through the air. She saw Rene’s feet and was shocked. She grabbed Rene’s thighs to get her attention. Rene smiled warmly and leaned over to kiss her. Clara blushed happily. That they did this sort of thing every once in a while was something they never told Ericka. She knew now. It was a relief, really. Clara’s hand dipped into Rene’s bush, slid into the hair for a while and then slid into the heat and wet. She rubbed against her clit with her ring finger.

Clara came again, the big one, the one that sent the limo shaking, the one that didn’t so much loosen a knot in her head but obliviate it. Rene guided her hand while she did until she was ready to think again. It would be quite a while. Rob turned his head and saw this. A new portion of ecstasy unfolded in him and sped up his release. He groaned loud and came like a machine gun, pumping sex into this wonderful girl. He cracked and burned and shook.

Andy and Ericka had given up trying to talk. They looked at each other with fear and understanding. They were mortified, clinging mentally to each other like two soldiers in a warzone. Ericka laughed, finally and Andy soon joined her. “Come on,” said Ericka. “Just one kiss before you go.” He laughed for a few more moments and leaned over to her. Their mouths met and they kissed sweetly and deeply.

Noah’s head was a kitchenful of chefs with flaming dishes in their hands, running and screaming in different directions. He wanted this to last forever, but when he saw Rene come, feeling the pulling jolts in the soles of her feet, he knew he stood no chance. The chefs threw the meals down and they joined and spread like napalm. He pressed her feet in hard and gave a few quick strokes, the come squirting up and falling on her ankle and on the floor and on her feet. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable onset of reality, the feet and the friends and Rene’s fiancé. He would be sad if he hadn’t just had the most amazing orgasm in his life.

The insurance guys arrived a few minutes later, the door answered by Andy, who had shut the lights off in the cab so his friends could get dressed. Everyone piled into a third limo, sent by Clara’s limo company. They were driven home in silence, Clara to her tortoise tank and laptop, Rene to her fiancé, Rob to his apartment and his roommate, who never did believe him, Noah to his home in the country with the koi pond. Andy’s fiancé met him at the door and he dragged her by the hair to the bedroom. Ericka went home to find her husband asleep and went to his stash of porn on the computer. She came three times before she went to bed. The respective weddings that weekend, all friends agreed, were quite a letdown.