Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Endangered

Hi. I cheated a bit here and deleted the first two parts to this entry. They are now three parts in one long, long story. Read it anyway. I really did write it because I thought you might like to read it, you wonderful, wonderful people.

Sun-hee is shading her eyes from the raindrops, the slow, fat kind that wash across your face and stay there. Simon looks up too, trying to make out what it is that she’s looking for. There is only one picture in his mind, of a stuffed and top-heavy turkey-like bird that he’d seen in The Natural History Museum in London. The scientists, who clearly were faking their annoyance, opened an oversized drawer and pulled it out in latex gloves, placed it on an examining tray and stepped back. The bird rolled and stopped, its jazz-hands legs jutting rigidly from its body. He looked at its face first, the black glass eyes, the fold on its head like rubber, protecting the thing, he assumed, from the rain. He stared at its curved beak, reaching out to touch, but reminded himself that he couldn’t. He pantomimed the shape instead.

“Pay good mind to its markings,” Cornelius said. “You won’t see its face at all.”

Simon did his best and looked for distinctiveness in the bird, a cluster of dark brown mottles before the tailfeathers, a little bit of shine near the front of the wing, but he could see nothing that would distinguish it from so much as a very large sparrow, and resigned himself to the guidance of his hosts with a nod.

Sun-hee has a worried look on her face, making the rainwater look like tears on her cheeks. Simon suddenly feels protective of her, as if they’re real. “Did you hear it, Cornelius?” she asks.

“I thought I had,” Cornelius says, and sighs.

Love Lost Between the Russet Wadbeaks by Simon Evans

There is, in the political miasma and clashing interests that come with the protection of endangered species, a quiet heartbreak to be found in the small, rainforested island nation of San Jacinto. A male and a female, once simply distanced from one another, now can’t stand to be anywhere near each other. The change has come suddenly. The formerly happy, if cold, couple now calls out to each other but once a year, if they do at all. They are met with silence. They are dying out, and they don’t seem to mind.

They are the Russet Wadbeaks (Caro Cucullati), birds once so common that the first Spanish settlers simply refused to stay on the island for the noise. The legendary lullaby, No Grita began here and was carried away by galleon within two months, its soothing effect more potent on decidedly quieter bambinos of The New World.

Oh, blessed Virgin Mother
Please bestow your gentle
Whisper to the shrieking birds
Make their screams but songs
For you shall be honored with
A choir of angels and not
The crash of iron and
Scraping chains

(Transl. Courtesy Hannah Alexander)


Hannah and Cornelius join Sun-hee in inexplicable sky-staring. Simon looks up dutifully, but sees nothing but dive-bombing drops of water and a tall ceiling of dark green. Finally, his eyes soaked dry from the wet, he faces forward, squeezing the false tears from his eyelids with his thumbs. When they open again, his three companions have started along without him. He lifts boots from muck and catches up slowly.

Hannah, Cornelius and Sun-hee have been on the hunt for the Russet Wadbeak for two years. They talk little, move in a swarm pattern, turning at the same time and at the same pace like a school of fish. Their gestures are a secret twin language to Simon, a flat hand on Cornelius’ part curved down and flattened again, echoed by the women. Though there has been no agreement that Simon can’t speak, he assumes by the gestures that it’s frowned upon, and simply repeats his questions in his head, saved for later when camp is made and notes can be attached to dry paper.

Theories abound as to the sudden divorce, though there are simply not enough scientists to investigate. Cornelius Van Werckhoven of the Antwerp Society for Research and Progress thinks vaguely that it might be that road.

“It’s only the time frame,” he says. “There was no road and there were Wadbeaks. Then there was road and there were none.” When pressed, he confesses in sticky consonants that he’s not sure why. “Maybe it’s the line,” he says. “If you draw a chalk line front of an ant, it will not cross. Maybe this is a border and the birds stay on their side of the box. We cannot say for sure. Who knows how many couples were severed by it?”

When Van Werckhoven speaks of couples, he means it. The Wadbeaks mate for life after a brief but promiscuous period in youth. Once a mate is chosen, copulation ensues for about seven scattered weeks in the year.

This is related to me in the present tense, though Van Werckhoven winces as he speaks. No one wants to pronounce the dead until the pulse hasn’t been heard from in decades.



Sun-hee’s ass scoots across the tarp like a hot sled across ice. Her shorts are made of much the same material, though the wet is insidious enough to trickle inside all the same. She’s eating canned salmon, the pink striking in the blue background of the tarp. An arrhythmic pup pup PUP pup PUP pup pup pup of the rain hitting the canopy above her head lends an agitated tone to their conversation. “I think it’s the disruption, not the physical road, that’s gotten to them,” she says.

“How do you mean?” Simon asks.

“Well,” she says, stabbing a large wedge of salmon with her fork, “with a road, there's construction, rumbling trucks and whining backhoes.” Her voice, a hard-won Irish accent, slows and warbles in strange parts of sentences. Simon feels himself slightly hypnotized by it. “It’s not conducive to sex, is it? They were used to being the loudest things around.”

“When the Wadbeaks mated,” Hannah says, by way of polite explanation, “mudslides took out whole settlements. The noise was said to be deafening, especially out here where everything else is so cowingly silent.”

Cowing silence hits the tarps as the rain stops, the slaps of the remaining drops trivial. Sun-hee’s face turns down and so, in turn, does Simon’s.

The night before, Simon lost a battle against reason and had to get up in the dark to take a piss. Swearing under his breath, he put wet socks on and soaked boots, slid out of the hammock and walked, flashlight at the ground lest he wake his neighbors, to something that was not green and leafy. A whimper touched his ear and he almost leapt. Another came soonafter, but this was clearer, the sound of a woman. Then the sound of a man.

Simon smiled and peed guiltily. Cornelius and Hannah were married, after all. He listened peacefully for a few moments until the sounds peaked and ebbed away. A little naughty reward for his troubles, he thought. On the way back to his hammock, he veered a little and heard more sounds, these just breaths, really. He put a few fingers on the front of his flashlight to dim it and slowly lifted it in the direction of the sound. Sun-hee’s hammock appeared at the top of the grey circle, her eyes closed and bike shorts down, fingers deep in the black fur of her pussy, neck bent in ecstasy. Her mouth burned into his eyes, showed through the mosquito netting, open and dark behind her lips. He slowly lowered the flashlight again and found his hammock, a droning erection in his own bike shorts. He hadn’t really noticed Sun-hee’s lips before.

The last that time the mating cries of the Russet Wadbeaks, described variously as “Plane crashing into steel mill” and “The screech of God’s chalk on the devil’s blackboard” was heard in the jungle canopy of San Jacinto was 1974. They have a life span of about forty years.




Simon, catching himself staring at Sun-hee’s neck as another stop is made, a hawk-gawk, he’s come to call them, begins to pity himself. He longs for a shower, a real one, where the water is clean and warm and you can dry off afterward. Dry skin is a wet dream. Dry, warm sheets. Television. Take-out food. He feels that putting any kind of moves on Sun-hee would be a train wreck. In this state, even flirtation would be interpreted as creepy, some sweaty, mosquito-bitten, grunting, would-be professional colleague making dirty jokes about what the head and beak of the bird looked like to him with a big smile. Yuck. Sun-hee and him should have met in a hotel bar near the Mayan ruins in Guatemala. He could buy her a drink and engage her friend in conversation until she too was compelled to join. But San Jacinto is no place to pick up a girl.

The Russet Wadbeak is, or was, at once normal and silly looking. There is nothing particularly dignified in the wad of flesh that curves around the eyes, almost covering its nose. It is, by all reports, not a particularly graceful flyer. It is said rather to flop from tree to tree, its stunted wings flapping desperately at the air. On the ground, they are said to be jumpy, to lift each clawed foot repeatedly in seeming disgust with the earth.

One wonders what Cornelius Van Werckhoven, Hannah Alexander and Sun-hee Shaolan see in this bird, what makes them give up summer vacations and respectable credit ratings to ensure the survival of an obscure noisemaker thousands of miles away from home. The Wadbeak has not controlled the spread of some insect-borne disease. It feeds mostly on larger, harmless insects a few times a day. It is not the sole source of food for some more beautiful species, an exotic leopard or noble eagle. In fact its only predator was man, who never, before the road, had to tolerate them long enough to make a dent in the population. The Wadbeak, it seems, lives, or lived, to make a ruckus and to make more Wadbeaks.



Cornelius has stepped on a sharp branch which managed to puncture a hole in his shoe and subsequently his skin. It stopped just short of punching through to the other side. He can move his toes and ankle without trouble, but the wound must be monitored for infection. It must be lifted, clean and dry for a few days to seal up again. Hannah stays with him as nurse, promising to switch with Sun-hee tomorrow. Sun-hee and Simon have headed out, GPS in hand, unbearable tracts of green and black ahead. Sun-hee’s hair is wrapped tightly, but long tresses, weighted with water, escape and dangle from her head. Others cling to her neck and shoulders, shiny clumps that mimic the curves below.

“What got you started in all this?” Simon asks, after the hawk-gawk is over.

“Cornelius. Can I tell you something off-the-record? I mean, not that it’s a big deal, but it’s not really pertinent to your story, alright?”

“Of course.”

“Cornelius and I were engaged to be married at one time. He got me into the Wadbeaks.” She isn’t looking at Simon as she talks. He can’t gauge her tension.

“What happened?”

“Hannah.”

“Wow.”

“It was a long time ago. We’re completely different people now, all three of us. But we still share this thing. These ridiculous birds!”

Sun-hee stops abruptly and turns toward Simon again, face in the air. Simon expects that at one time, the look in her eyes was hopeful, that Sun-hee thought all she would have to do is find one, but her look now is simply maintenance. She probably doesn’t know she’s doing it. Probably does it at home too for a few weeks, having dreamt up a scheme that the birds had simply wanted to save her the plane fare. Her face drops and she looks Simon in the eyes as she returns to him. She blinks and smiles. He doesn’t.

“Well, I don’t want to insult your passion, but I must ask…. These birds are ridiculous. Why?”

“Why do we do it, you mean?”

“Yes,” says Simon.

“I think the absurdity is a great big part of it,” she says. “You know how people will seek out little-known artists or bands to love? The Wadbeak is like that. Ours.”

“How do you and Hannah get along so well?”

“We just do. It’s the only way.”

Simon has about ten more questions stacked up in his mental jukebox to play, but he can’t afford to ask them. He leaves Sun-hee to her ritual, enjoys it, watching her conquer the rainforest bit by bit, plugging notes into her GPS, swatting poisonous-looking ants off of oversized leaves. She stops and examines the bark on a tree.

“This could be one of their marks,” she says, poking and scratching it with trimmed fingernails. “But if it is, it’s very old.” She sighs and walks on.

“How do they leave marks?”

“They stand on the side of trees and work the bark in their talons. No one had time to figure out why. Can you imagine? A bird that size on the side of a tree?”

“No.”

“I’m glad you’re not pressing me for details on Hannah and Cornelius. We didn’t want you to come, really, but we did it for the Wadbeaks. It hasn’t been an easy week for us.”

“I haven’t been imposing, have I?”

“No. It’s nothing that you’re doing. We’re just used to being kind of our own people.”

Another hawk-gawk and Sun-hee’s hand holds a vine to keep steady. He stares at her hands, their compact dexterity, the way the wet smoothes them, the bones inside strong and nimble.

“Do you have someone at home?” Simon asks.

“Not really.”

Simon sees his hand reach out to Sun-hee’s and is unable to stop it. Simon sees his fingers stroke at the edges of hers and is mortified.

The Russet Wadbeak has many bad habits, besides the wailing and the tree kneading. The Russet Wadbeak will only relieve itself in one place, and stepping in the pile will end the life of your shoes. It will not only eat at the rubber and leather, but should some small part of the droppings make contact with your skin, your foot will develop an insatiable rash. There have been known cases of people scratching the soles off of their feet to relieve it. The Russet Wadbeak loves to gnaw at mosquito nettings and will use the bits it can remove in its nest. The Russet Wadbeak loves television antennas too, and will bend and pull at them until they are loose. It will build nests in the driver’s seats of open cars. It will steal crops if they’re available. It is in constant, open revolt to humanity, with a bit of Bugs Bunny in its veins.

Until 1974, humanity had been completely outnumbered and outfoxed. The majority of the island nation is uninhabited, the road only used by the San Jacinto military base, one used primarily by the Columbians. San Jacinto has never had a population of more than six hundred people. It, therefore, lends a charming explorer fantasy to the visitor, the feeling that he or she is truly seeing something that has been unexplored, or at least unseen by any of your former high school classmates. One can’t look at a berry on a vine and not wonder if it’s the first one ever seen. The entire island seems fragile and shy. Even touching it will change it, taint it. You walk quietly and slowly, until the mud tries to take your boots off, and then you realize that if you’re the enemy, you’d better start acting like it.



To Simon’s confusion, his fingers are accepted and Sun-hee spreads hers. Her face, the simple and flawless skin, the long lashes and the lips he had watched so dearly, turn to him. Rain starts with a wimpy thunderclap and their faces soak quickly with water. He kisses her anyway, though he’s not sure that she wants it, and tastes the slightly salinated water on her, feels it gather in parts of his mouth. He is constantly swallowing, but holds her close, the sticky cotton of his shirt clinging back and forth between them. His hand trails up her ribcage, shaking over the dips and bumps, until her left breast, braless, is tucked between forefinger and thumb.

“I can’t let you do that,” she says, shaking her head out of the kiss.

“Why?” he asks. The warmth of her body is the only warmth that has cancelled out the soaking clothes, the only warmth he’s felt in over a week.

“Just. There’s a reason, right? And maybe it’s okay, but right now it’s not.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know. But it’s still true. I want you to. Believe me, I want you to touch me.”

His face descends to her neck and he digs his nose into it for a few moments, wondering if there is any part of her that still contains its own smell in all the constant rinsing. He puts his hand on her inner thigh. She holds his wrist to keep it from moving, either closer or away.


A Russet Wadbeak appears and lands on a branch about twenty feet above Simon’s hammock. Simon feels like he should say something to the others, but his eyes have been so starved of this sight that he takes it in, slowly, examines its flocks of spots on the back just before the tail, the shine of the front wing.

“Why won’t you look at my face?” it asks.

“I was told not to,” says Simon apologetically. He still can’t look, examines its talons instead, a piece of mosquito netting grinding into the tree under them. There is a knot in the bark under the netting. It looks like the oblong of an open mouth.

“You said you wanted to see my face,” it says. It has an Irish accent.

“I do.”

“So, look at it.”

“I can’t.”

The talons turn into Sun-hee’s hand on the branch, the mouth disappearing.

“What are you hiding?” Simon asks.

The bird does not respond. Instead, it flies down to him. It lands and scurries under his hammock.

“I can’t look at you there,” he says.

“What do you want from me?” the bird asks, louder, as if it’s on his chest.

Simon can’t answer. His body is overwhelmed by an intense, erotic, steam fog.

“What do you want from me?” the bird asks again, this voice completely familiar and right into his earlobe. He feels a tightening, fiery crash in his cock, his voice, suddenly an unbearable screech, howls across the forest.

His eyes open and there is no bird. There was no bird. He lays and gasps for a few moments. The sky is much darker than it was in the dream. The sun is only a lavender hint on the periphery. He puts his hand in his shorts and finds confirmation. He clutches at the parts of the dream that he needs the most, the sight of the bird, the orgasm, the voice, but they slip away in fat raindrops. He is left with a vague happiness and gets up to find a good leaf to wipe himself with. Found and wiped, invigorated, he dresses completely and takes a walk around the campsite to see if anyone else is up. The tarp covering the hanging food is unattended. Sun-hee’s hammock is empty. He walks on, toward where Cornelius and Hannah sleep.

There in their hammock, under the intact mosquito netting, is the mouth of Sun-hee. She lies on her side. Curious, Simon steps forward a little. He sees that her right knee is up, that she’s cooing. That she’s naked. A female hand grasps her right breast. A male one holds her pelvis. Simon notices another set of legs just behind her, thrusting, hairy, and sees an unmistakable set of testicles in movement. Simon is frozen, finding his eyes back at her lips. They are eclipsed by Hannah, naked, but for a sturdy set of boots in the mud. Hannah lifts the mosquito netting and sweeps her hand across Sun-hee’s abdomen before slipping her ring finger between Sun-hee’s pussy lips.

So why the ambivalence? Why can’t the Wadbeaks seem to romance each other anymore? It’s hard not to project human characteristics on a bird with so much personality. It’s hard not to think of Wadbeaks in a fight over the cleanliness of their nests, finally degrading into a volley of excrement projectiles into each other’s camps. It’s hard not to think of the Wadbeaks growing apart, one just not as into the scratching of trees, rather preferring increasingly artistic raids into ships’ cargo, the two of them finding nothing to squawk about anymore, politely ignoring the calls when they do come.

Then, recalling ourselves from our anthropomorphic musings, we find that the birds are as mysterious as they are galling. They are as unknowable as boll weevils and deep-ocean octopi. They are nothing but nerve endings and instincts, complex, but just that. What keeps these animals apart from each other could be as simple as a chemical coating found on newer television antennas or as philosophically knotted as the universe simply not needing them anymore.



Simon and Hannah leave camp after a breakfast of rice and chopped nuts. Hannah is silent for the first hour, and though the journalist in Simon’s brain frantically and angrily attempts to conjure Serious Inquiry into the matter of the Wadbeaks, he finds himself impossible to rope in. His mind is sickness and mad envy, and this, too, incites more of the same through its very existence. He doesn’t give a fuck about the damn birds anymore, would like to wait, swinging in his hammock, for his scheduled pickup by the Columbian navy at the coast and his eventual self-righteous piece, lambasting the greens for their wasteful obsession with minutiae. This possibility opens him up, and he starts a sudden, uncalled-for, loud conversation with Hannah.

“Don’t you have bills to pay?” he asks. He would cross his arms if he didn’t need to clutch at vines when he slipped.

“What do you mean?” Hannah asks, as if it’s never occurred to her that there is such a thing as money.

“Isn’t all of this a little bit expensive for you?”

“We save all year,” she says, unaffronted.

“Don’t you think the money would be better spent on a better cause, then?”

There is a pause as Hannah negotiates a slick dip in the mud after a fallen tree. “Like what?”

“Think of all the species that mean something that are dying out!”

“Who’s to decide—“

“Who’s to decide which are worthy and which are not in this precious ecosystem?” Simon finishes.

“Yes!”

Hannah turns to Simon and looks at him for what, he realizes, is the first time since they met. He expected some hippy sentence about the beauty of it all in some sentence beginning with “Dude…” and ending with “man!” He is met with pointed furiosity under previously heavy, dozy eyes.

“Who the fuck are we to decide? What the hell do we know? We don’t know what we’re doing! We just learned how to hit each other in the head with heavy stones and now we think we’re omfuckingnipotent. Fuck that. These birds may be strange, but at least they’ve got fucking manners!”

Simon, still full of green angst, stares at Hannah until she gives up on his hope to defend himself and turns around carefully before starting off again. He sits through two more hawk-gawks with a perfunctory scan of the canopy before he says “Sorry, I’m just playing devil’s advocate.”

“No, you’re not. You’re mad that you’re not playing with Sun-hee. And that’s fine. That’s a perfectly natural reaction.”

This jerks Simon right back into indignation, and he’s silent for the rest of the morning.

Let’s assume that we won’t find out enough about this particular bag of circumstance and DNA to save it before its almost certain demise. Let’s assume that the Russet Wadbeak has gone extinct and the planet, aside from three concerned parties, goes on pretty much as it had before. Is there anything like a lesson here? Can we contemplate, taking advantage of the measurably quieter atmosphere, the larger worth of these top-heavy, feathery, sexually frigid animals? What did they mean, and what does their absence mean to us?

I think, anthropomorphism aside, the lesson learned is another in the critical and yet widely unresearched field of sexual reproduction, the last and most complicated need, the most basic, the first and most important to sustain life, and we know almost nothing about it. Our own adult lives are aswim with the sometimes conflicting orders of our genitals and our hearts. How much of it is pure pheromone and how much the amount of time that your mother held you as a child? What do we look for and what does it have to do with the emotional replacement of a loved one, or the reenactment of a painful memory? Which sexual fantasy will produce the quickest erection, and do you think of smell or touch or taste? Perhaps you enjoy the mystery, think that it is the last thing we need to codify.

The Russet Wadbeak points us in the direction of research.



Back at camp, Sun-hee sits on the edge of Cornelius’s hammock and swings him a little bit faster than he should be swung. He has a plastic bag on his chest full of broad leaves. He hits Sun-hee’s back with them to make her stop, laughing. Hannah kisses Cornelius sincerely, giving Sun-hee’s hand a squeeze, before pulling back and asking about his foot.

“Oh! The swelling is gone! Look!”

She does, smiles and pats his knee. “What’s that you got there?” she asks.

“A little bit of medicinal aflojar,” he answers, snickering.

“We have a guest,” Hannah says, reproachingly.

“We have a guest who will never get this kind of hospitality again,” Sun-hee says.

Hannah whispers something in Sun-hee’s ear.

“Come along, Hannah,” Sun-hee says. “We’ve been on our best behavior all week.”

Hannah takes a look at me, her thin legs twisted around each other, then untwists them and says, “Alright, hand me one.”

Simon doesn’t need to consider it. He mud-steps over to the hammock and takes a leaf. He tears it into strips as Hannah does and throws it into his mouth to chew. The effect is slow, and takes an hour to kick in. At first he’s convinced that he’s not doing it right, but when it hits, the melting of concern that you get with pot combined with the sharp-edged energy of caffeine, he grins as wide as the other three. They smile warmly at each other for what could be ten minutes or could be thirty seconds when Simon feels compelled to pipe up.

“I saw you this morning,” he says, spitting a leaf clipping into the mud.

The other three look surprised, but pleasantly so. They would be pleasantly surprised by a fifteen-foot snake right now.

“What?” Sun-hee says, giggling.

“In the hammock?” Hannah finishes.

“Yes.” Simon covers his mouth when he talks this time.

“Doing—“ Cornelius starts.

“That, yeah.”

“Guess we haven’t been good all week, then, sweetie,” Cornelius says to Hannah.

Hannah is laughing uncontrollably behind her palm. Her breasts shake with it.

Simon is laughing too, tears in his eyes. “And then!” he manages to get out. “And then! Then I high-tailed it! Right back to! My hammock! And I just got so! So pissed off!”

Sun-hee’s mouth is wide open, laughing loud enough to echo in the canopy.

“Because!” Simon continues. “I wanna fuck Sun-hee so bad! Hey! Hey!”

The other three control their laughter, leaning over the back of their hands for the next punchline. “I had a dream that she was a Wadbeak!” They have a controlled burst of hilarity and return just in time. “And I came in my shorts!”

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HUH. AHHH ha ha ha HAH HAH. HA. HA. HAAAAAAA!

“I’m dying!” Hannah says, leaning over her knees, her chest spasming.

“I know!” says Simon, clutching at his stomach.

Sun-hee walks surprisingly well to Simon, who sits cross-legged on a stretch of tarp, leans over and kisses him. Joy wells up in his face and he pulls her down. She sits, also cross-legged, beside him and looks up at Cornelius and Hannah. They are kissing, lying down in the hammock, Cornelius’s injured foot in the air. She begins to sing. Simon recognizes the tune. It’s No Grita. Hannah and Cornelius join in Spanish. Simon doesn’t know the words, so he hums loud with big gestures. Their voices are wonderful, and he wishes more than anything for them to find their quarry, to find their clit-headed bird. Two of them.

When they finish, he starts a song of his own.

“Come closer and see
See into the trees
Find the girl
If you can
Come closer and see
See into the dark
Just follow your eyes….”

All four pick up on it.

“Just follow your eyes

I hear her voice
Calling my name
The sound is deep
In the dark
I hear her voice
And start to run
Into the trees
Into the trees”

Simon is pleased to see Sun-hee in a 1984 head-shake, her hair too wet to wave, but her neck thrown in pleasant angles. He kisses it and lets them go on.

“Suddenly I stop”

There is silence and Simon takes advantage by hooking his elbows under Sun-hee’s knees, dragging her back to him on the slippery tarp.

“But I know it's too late
I'm lost in a forest
All alone”

Sun-hee’s shirt is lifted to above her breasts, which jump perkily as she sings. The rain has started again and her skin is pocked with droplets, which run and dip and swoop and fall all over her curves. Her skin is unbearably beautiful. Simon takes the time to look at it by continuing the song.

“The girl was never there
It's always the same
I'm running towards nothing
Again and again and again and again”

The “agains” fade into the sounds of lips on wet skin, the faint, somewhere smell of pussy and fucking. Simon picks Sun-hee up and she straddles his thighs. They are knelt against each other on the tarp, unable to keep their legs up with no friction. They squirm and clutch at each other, charley horses and uncomfortable pokes ignored. He gets impatient, stands up and lifts her, carries her to a tree and presses her into it. The tree shivers but does not bend. Her mouth returns to his. He pulls her plastic pants down. He pulls her bike shorts down. He circles her bare thighs with the backs of his hands, rubbing his erection into her pelvis bone at the hip.

“Touch me, Simon,” Sun-hee says.

He can’t. Just like the dream. He can’t.

Simon hears a rumble across tarp and feels two breasts on his back. A hand descends his forearms and takes his fingers. Hannah guides Simon’s fingers to the hot wetness at the crest of Sun-hee’s thighs. He guffaws, then goes to work.

“She likes it gentle,” Hannah says, and slows his fingers. He feels another hand on his cock. His head throws back. The wet dream was the first orgasm he’d had in a week, too squeamish to go into the insect-ridden darkness for a go at himself. He sees how stupid that was. How even a fucking journalist has got to come every once in a while.

The hot-wet of Sun-hee’s pussy is the butter for his knife. Hannah pulls lovingly at his cock. She drops his shorts, exposes him to the rain, the cool shock moisture on him. It lubricates slightly, but she must stop every once in a while to coat his cock in water again. Agony. Hannah comes around him, wedges herself between Sun-hee and Simon. She kisses Sun-hee for a while, the both of them enjoying each other’s taste, and she rubs Simon’s cock with her ass. She finally bends, drops down, her head at Sun-hee’s lower pelvis. Her ass in the air for Simon’s taking. Simon looks at Sun-hee, her knees bent apart, her head into the tree. She nods slightly. Simon pushes his cock down and enters Hannah.

He watches her face the entire time and Sun-hee watches his. They fuck each other through this living envelope, his cock become a tongue on her pussy. Simon pounds Hannah, his fingers in the bend of her pelvis, her thighs split on tiptoe. Sun-hee moans, watching Simon, and when she does, her oblong lips draped open, Simon gets closer. When Sun-hee comes, clutching the thin sides of the tree, Simon has to stop to watch. Her hands, dexterous as ever, bent in ecstasy. Simon slows and withdraws. Hannah stands on shaky knees and walks to her husband, whose cock pulses in his shorts. Simon moves up, kisses Sun-hee deeply and takes her thighs in his arms. He looks between her eyes, shocked that she’s there, and goes inside her. She yells, loud, louder than he’s ever made a woman yell. He figures it’s the rainforest. That she can yell out here. But then he notices. This is for the birds.

He yells out too, deep, manly, ripping yelps. Guttural and draining. He screams. She screams. The distraction pulls him up, takes his pleasure up one. They’re joined by Cornelius, who, a turning Sun-hee and Simon notice, is having his cock sucked fiercely in the swings of his hammock. Hannah is bent above him, moving him in and out her mouth with the back and forth, pushing and pulling his knees.

“Yeeeeeeeaaaaarppppp!” he yells. Simon laughs. Sun-hee comes up behind Hannah and spreads Hannah’s legs, a stable triangle over the mud in her boots. She bends over, takes Hannah’s ass in her hands, the rain beating down on both their assholes. Sun-hee’s bright pink pussy emerges in the dark fur pubes and Simon, with a yelp, enters her.

Simon, the unavoidable build of fuck in him, begins to compete with Cornelius in wailing. Sounds escape him that his vocal chords have never taken on. He yips, he yowls, he fucks the life out of Sun-hee.

Cornelius’s “Yeeearghs” turn into sincere growling. His body, thin shoulders to wrinkled abdomen move in a wave. He comes into his wife’s mouth in loud, sharp, natural screams. His fingers go to her scalp and pull. Hannah does not want to let go. In a turn of her head, Simon can see Cornelius’s come dribble from her open mouth. She buries her head in Cornelius’s thighs and begins to shriek. This is more what Simon had imagined, a crash of girl-screech, to be heard all over the island, the Columbian military be warned. He screeches back in harmony, ruckus everywhere, until his coming is unavoidable and as omnipresent as the rain. It lives from his neck to his toes, all parts of him in strain. He hits a high note, in his flight-taken zoom, and positively rattles the mud, coming into Sun-hee in the vibration of it. He pulls out of her and falls back on the tarp, his eyes still sucking in Sun-hee on Hannah, still filing the vision away as Hannah herself spasms and screams. Hannah’s fingers grip Cornelius’s hammock in full rip. He holds his foot out to avoid contact.

I close my eyes and imagine the Russet Wadbeaks with a change of heart, flapping their stubby, shiny black wings across the rainforest to each other, found, in the advanced age, what they saw when they first heard their shrieks across the green. Because what is there that can’t be imagined and made real by sex?

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Stuff for You and Your Pants

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #90? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.


This Week’s Picks

Burlesque

“She performs astounding acts and swirls her perfect ass in circles, like the tassles on her tits.”


Nylon Whispers

“I run my fingers along every bit of my nylon covered flesh”


No Timeless Beauty To Conform To

“While fashions themselves come and go, so do the standards of beauty rise and fall like the heaving breasts of an excited woman.”


Mr. Sugasm Himself

Welcome to the Redesign


Editor’s Choice

Catalina loves (sex in) Sevilla


More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.


(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)


NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Half-Nekkid and Asking for It

I Feel Myself

Inspiration

Lindsay Lohan Naked Pictures On Internet?

Professional dress code

Time For Tits


Erotic Writing and Experiences

Another Ride

Dirty Lace

A gay lesson

Joining the Half-Mile-High Club San Francisco, part 9

Office Masturbation - part 4

Poker

Postage Stamp Sex

Private Show pt. 1

Rape Fantasies

Repressed

Romance

She Dancin’ with a G


Sex News

Find Your Love Match Among Hegre Art’s Models


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

BDSM Part II; etymolgy, history, psychology

Can you can can?

Commentators

Fuck Your Fucking Ethics

The Glory That Is Myra Breckinridge

I wish I’d known that…

Lip Service

Panties Tell You What I’m Wanting

“Thank You”

Things I Would Like to See in Porn

Tom made me think


Sex & Politics

No Payola


BDSM & Fetish

Featured Fetish - Urophilia (Pee, Piss, Watersports)

Happy HNT - Metal bondage fun and a naughty night with Shasta Gibson

Sick

Singing about spanking

Submissive List

Torrent


Sexy teacher with an apple courtesy of Badgirl’s Hotbox.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Because Sugasm's hot

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #89? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.


This Week’s Picks

Kinky To Vanilla

“Now, each time we play with others, it’s a gift that further cements our closeness and shows us the value of our love.”


One For The Guys

“Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully.”


When A Client Dies-Part 2

“As I drank my morning coffee I googled his name and “obit”. Up popped his obituary.”


Mr. Sugasm Himself

A Porn Store Clerk Speaks


Editor’s Choice

Love at First Sight


More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.


(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)


BDSM & Fetish

Bombshell (The Big News)

A Cock and a Smile

Dreaming of suburban spankings

Featured Fetish - Ropes (Shibari, Bondage, Ropework)

Fooling around

The Gain, pt. 4 - The Exchange

How I Went To Prom And Soiled The Pretty Pretty Dress I Found In The 2007 ‘Cosmo Girl Prom’

Ms160 judges a Princess competition….

My (Af)fair Lady

Naughty webcam fun with Griz and good girl

The Panty Controversy

Party Girl

Power Exchange (will I or won’t I?) San Francisco, part 6

Slutty sight

Summer School

When Daddy Gets Home Tonight


Sex Work

Clients Say the Darndest Things


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Bald = hot

Kinky Vanilla

On abandon

The Origins of Monogamy and Jealous

Pretendy Sex

Seduction - from the eyes of my spouse

Three years


Sex News & Reviews

Polyamorously Perverse, Gracie’s Been Sleeping In Your Blog

Slip of a Girl Right Hand Ring Bling Contest


NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

The Best A Woman Can Get

Chantelle Fontain Nude

Gemma Atkinson

Half-Nekkid and Supporting the Troops

Keana | Exhibitionist (Hegre Art)

Last night

More Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures

Tuesday’s Tits for the Troops

WebMistress Feature Gallery: Party Girl


Sex Advice

Closed Due To Flooding?


Erotic Writing and Experiences

After Midnight

Cyberecstasy

The Driving Urge

Fantasy Forth! “Twin Celebration”

First kiss

In which sinclair gets off

The Love of Sea Glass

Palm Springs …. Friday Finale!

Story: The Birthday Party

Test Your Strength

Watching you


Virgin Princess Award Winner courtesy of Mistress 160’s Abode.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Female Bloggers That Rock!


The lovely and talented La Fille Mariée has forwarded a meme in which I must name and describe five female online writers (sexpots) that I like a whole darn lot. This is tough for me, because, as I've admitted before, I have yet to catch up on everyone because most of my computer time is spent trying to get posts out as quickly as I can and then, only then, if I'm lucky, read all of your wonderful stuff. I'm trying, though. I type really fast these days.

About Fille, she's just kind of folded me under her arm recently, and I'm really happy about it. Fille, just tell me how to make you happy, sweetpea.

1.Curvaceous Dee

It's no surprise that I'm putting our Dee up here. Dee reminds me so much of myself, it's a little spooky. But whereas Dee's been actually writing about things that she's actually doing, I'm just sitting in my apartment making shit up, based loosely on experiences previous to my marriage and a few asides here and there within the limits that my husband and I have agreed on. Dee lives for me, as many of you do, but hers reminds me of the life that stretches between my ears just before I come the most. And she's a freaking good writer too. Knocking you a kiss there, babes. Keep the good stuff comin'.

2.Z

You know, I don't give a shit if everyone else in the world tags Z. I'm tagging her too. So there. You know why everyone's tagging her? Because she's an amazing writer. Look here:

That miasma of sex that can't be washed off and covered up, that floats on the air around the freshly-fucked, oozing out through the pores as though one body had absorbed the scent of the other.

I mean, come on! Look at that! She really puts herself out there, exposes not just what's happening to her body, but all those little tweaks of her mind. As Alex Kapranos says, words are poisoned darts of pleasure. And Z's got them by the balls. Ouch.

3.Amy

I only just found this site as Amy only just commented on one of my stories and I was all Ooooh! and ran over there. As if you don't know, Amy shares her site with Richard, her man. I'm fascinated, confused, and most of all, extremely freaking turned on reading their site. It's another case of living vicariously, as I'm sure my husband would love this setup and I don't think I could do it for more than an hour. I'm fascinated because I'm so turned on by it. It's brought out something in me that I was pretty sure didn't exist. The way she's so open, sharing every little detail, including inevitable mental conflicts, possible self-loathing or at least -mistrust issues being confronted right out there, with the husband. I couldn't do it. She can. Bless you, Amy, and thanks for the orgasm.

4.Megan

Something about her reserve gets me. She's so self conscious and careful about what she writes. Her words are well chosen, well weighted and her sentences are balanced and rhythmic in just the way she hopes they are. She's a writer to care about. And you do, right away. Like Amy, I've only just picked her up, and am going to find myself soon enough at two in the morning sunken into her archives like a pillow and unable to move.

5.Fex

Everyone knows why anyone would go to this site. Fucking. Pure and simple. I like fucking. I like Fex.

Poker

I’m dealt a seven and a jack, suited, and call the ten dollar bet that Natalie is so shamelessly bluffing with. “I dunno what his problem is, really. He just gets so political when he’s mad at me,” she says. Samantha folds, but I don’t think she had anything anyway. Drew folds too. “You can see him like looking around the apartment for anything really viable to be mad at me about, because he knows his position is ridiculous, so he turns on the news and starts shouting about the war,” Natalie continues. Anna looks to me and folds, letting me take the fall if I’m wrong. “I don’t want to fuck him when he’s like that. It’s so that he’s the only one who gets to be angry.”

“We’re not allowed to be angry,” I finish for her, waiting for the flop.

“Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it?” she says and stands up to lean across the table to deal. A seven, an ace and a five, the five and ace in diamonds, like both my cards. “We get pissed and we’re imagining things, being overdramatic or something, but they get pissed off and they’re being strong men, reacting to some real injustice, right? And we’re just supposed to cry until we feel better.”

“Because we can’t fix an imaginary problem,” Drew says, stirring her vodka-tonic with her pinkie. “So we just get all sad until we realize that there was never anything wrong in the first place.”

“It’s fucking frustrating!” Natalie says. She stares at the cards in front of her for a while and steels herself, throws in another ten dollars. “Why can’t I be a lesbian?”

“Really!” Drew says.

“Yeah, girls are nice!” Samantha says.

“But they don’t have dicks,” Anna says. “And I’m afraid I need dick.”

I put in ten dollars, look at Natalie and decide to raise her. She gets a crestfallen look in the side of her mouth.

“Yeah,” she says, “I think I do too.”

“Anyone ever gone there?” Samantha asks, leaning back in her chair. “Drewwww?”

Natalie puts another ten in the pot and quickly deals the turn. A seven of clubs.

“Well, I made out with that girl in the back of Berlin that one time, remember?” Drew says, scratching an itch on the back of her head.

“Mmmhmm. Anna?” She shakes her head no. Natalie looks up at me and throws in fifteen. Shit. Maybe she’s got sevens. “Isabel?” Sam asks.

“Yes,” I answer, calling Natalie.

“Really?”

“It’s not that weird.”

“I don’t believe you,” Natalie says, genuinely shocked. Her cards begin to shake in her hands. She puts them down.

“Anna, have I fucked a girl?” I ask.

Anna is the authority on all things Isabel since she’s known me since I was ten.

“Yep. You were together for like a year, weren’t you?”

“Nine months.”

“What’s it like!” Samantha asks, slamming the front two legs of her chair down and leaning over the table. Natalie winces, but listens carefully.

“Softer, I guess. Everything is softer. The skin, the hair, the lips.” I catch Natalie looking at my lips. She’s got the remainder of the deck in hand, her long fingers over the top card, but she doesn’t pull it.

“And when you say fucked, you mean….” Sam asks.

I pull my hair behind my ears and put my cards down. “Strapon. Both of us. And of course we licked each other’s pussies and all that.”

“I heard that’s better with a girl,” Drew says, grinning.

I gave a non-committal side to side head motion. “It can be. At least she was more willing than half the guys I’ve been with.” Natalie’s got the card out and holds it face down in the center of the table. She’s breathing deeply, in shock no doubt, but doesn’t say anything.

“Is it easier to go down on a girl than a guy?” Sam asks.

“You know how your jaw gets sore?” Sam, Drew and Anna nod. “That’s your tongue. But it tastes completely different and it’s very, very wet.”

The word “wet” hangs in the air for a few seconds before Natalie turns the river over. It’s a three of diamonds. Natalie, with a seven and a jack in her hand, has lost.

“I’m getting another drink,” she says.

I follow her into my kitchen, leaving the others to talk about me, which they’re entitled to now. She turns at the counter and gently presses her glass onto it. She jumps a little when she sees me behind her, then smiles apologetically.

“How could you tell I was bluffing?” she asks me.

“Sit up a little when you’re bluffing. It makes it look like you’ve got a great hand and you can’t wait to win. I’m sorry if the conversation got a little weird in there for you. Sam gets a little overexcited when she thinks she knows how to drink.”

“That’s all?” Natalie asks. “Just how I was sitting?”

“Anyway, you’re clearly uncomfortable about it, and I just want you to know that it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Do I sit up when I’ve got a good hand?”

“Yeah. Everyone does.”

She stares at my shoulder for a little while and I take her glass to the fridge. I fill it up with ice cubes and hand her the empty tray. She takes it to the sink and refills it, her breasts rearranging themselves as she turns the tray in the stream.

“And,” I continue, “you get an itch on the side of your face, here….” I swipe the pad of my forefinger on her upper cheekbone. “And you keep scratching it.” An explosion of laughter comes from the dining room. The girls have changed the subject. I hope. Natalie puts her glass down and goes into the bathroom. I’ve really freaked her out now. She will come out and tell me she’s lost enough money and go home forever. I pour myself another drink, watching her ice turn to water at the edges.

There’s another roar in the dining room, I head toward it, what I’m hoping is a sweet smile on my face. A hand pops out of the bathroom, grabs my arm and pulls me in.

Natalie stands before me in the orange light of the bathroom, her lips open and hopeful, her eyes wide, brown, full of flawless mascara, eyeliner mudding in the corners. It seems so sudden to me, something that some part of me had noticed and discarded before I could consider it, that Natalie was on the no-kiss list, and it seemed impossible to remove her from it. She saw my surprise, though not disgust, and leaned into me. An intake of air and there they are, girl lips, sticky and forceless, something I’d forgotten. I turn into her, pressing her into the sink, her breasts against mine, hers large and heavy, mine small and tight, making room for each other. She has one hand on the back of my arm and holds me there, just a suggestion to my elbow. I pull back anyhow, wiping my mouth in my palm.

“Is this what you want?” I ask her.

“Yes.”

Without returning to her mouth, my hand drops on her shoulder, falls slowly down, curves around her breast and curls up again. Her eyelids drop and flutter. I go down, under her shirt and come up again, under her bra, coming up to put her nipple between fore- and index fingers. Her mouth opens and her bottom lip twitches. I raise her shirt to her armpits and go around the back, undoing her bra quick in a pinch. I pull the bra up and stare at them for a moment. She wonders what I’m doing and opens her eyes, sees me and closes them. I flick her nipple with my tongue and blow on it. It stiffens and points at me. I do it again with the other. She shivers.

“Sam never asked if you’d done this before. Have you?”

“No.”

I take her nipple between my lips and suck it into submission. It sharpens, fights. “That feels good,’ she says, just under what wave form would penetrate the door.

And this is what I want. Dropping to my knees, lifting her long skirt to her hips is what I want. The triangle, entirely empty of cock, trimmed to the quick, the swollen pussy lips and the gift between them, also swollen, pink flesh shyly peeking out. My mouth waters thinking about it, this slung focus that I haven’t seen in years. My hands turn to fists, rolling her skirt in them, and I press her hips back over the sink, her abashed deference, rolling back kindly. I put her heels on my shoulders and dive in.

“Oh my God,” she says, her clit speaking for her now. “Oh my God.” My tongue swipes along her folds, dipping in when it can, flicking like she was soft serve. My body responds in amused tickles. It lights like a puddle of 151.

My fingers enter her, first one, then two, then three and turn up, looking for a g-spot, if there is one. I fuck her with them, this girl who only known men, and hasn’t really known sex either, hasn’t turned that brown part of her soul to bright green. I’m digging the vibration in her, the way she jolts forward the second my tongue makes contact with her clit and I pause so I can feel it again. Her right hand goes up to her breast and pinches the nipple gently as I did. Her mouth hangs open, careful, measured breaths in and out.

I pull my tongue in for a moment and watch her, my third-wheel thumb taking over for a while.

“Has anyone ever made you come before?” I ask her, because I’m sure of the answer.

“No.”

“Have you ever come before?”

She doesn’t answer, but grits her teeth for a moment. I kiss her knee.

“You’re going to now,” I tell her. “Just relax and concentrate on your clit.”

I split her pussy lips between the forefinger and thumb of my other hand and start to lick her in earnest. Her thighs shake and occasionally batter my head, but I keep a steady pace, continuing to fuck her with my other hand. My tongue gets sore, but I don’t stop. She moans, louder and louder, no question in my mind that the other three girls are listening now, but I don’t stop. The low, square heels on her sandals dig into my shoulders, but I don’t stop.

“Isabel, please,” she whimpers, leaving no question as to who is servicing whom to the other three, “pleeeease.” Her heels press in hard suddenly and I have to press back against my toes to keep her from pushing me away. “Oh God, God, God, Guh!” and she falls completely apart, spasming all over the sink as I slowly, unrelentingly, lick it out of her. She comes for about a minute. It’s only when her hands push against the top of my head that I let up. I sit on my heels and look up at her darkly.

“Your face is all wet,” she whispers, laughing. She is gorgeous, I notice for the first time.

“Are you okay?” I ask, taking her fingers in mine.

“Hell yeah. You?”

“You think it’s just my face that’s wet?”

She is overwhelmed by a fit of embarrassed giggles. I stand up and kiss them out of her.

“We should go back out there,” she says in my ear. She stands up, adjusts her hair in the mirror and goes first. I wipe my face in a washcloth, put her panties in the cabinet under the sink, quell a smile and go back to the table. The three girls stare back and forth between the two of us.

“Drew, it’s your deal, hon,” I say.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Test Your Strength

There were twenty inches between them in the back seat of Hank’s car. They both had their hands pressed down into the seat, trying to quell the atmosphere between them, the solid air, a fire that hadn’t yet lit. They pressed it down into the seat, feeling it in their fingers. The plasma rush echoed in the space between, freed itself and bounced into their thighs. It tingled. It itched. Their bodies buzzed like they were gripping a machine to test their strength. They held onto the handle. If they let go, if they crossed the naugahyde and crashed into each other, the machine would call them sissies, chide them with red lights and shut off, demanding another fifty cents. They held on, thrilled under the spell and begging for it to stop.



Joe’s mouth was open, as if there were some way to take this in, as if he could absorb Adam through his lungs. He breathed deep and imagined that he could, having read somewhere that your body really inhabits the air around it, having read in class that it stores heat in the space like a blanket, that when you smell someone, it’s actually little bits of them that are landing in your nose, that seventy percent of dust is skin cells, that billions of neutrinos are passing through your body and into the next person every second. He breathed deep and took in the bits of Adam, pressing his hand down into the seat to steady himself. He closed his eyes and pretended to be tired as he was sure he must be and imagined what they had already shared, imagined the tiny subatomia, whether they could take a message to him.



Adam rolled down the window and let the wind blow on his face, figuring the fresh air would do him nothing but good, that it would cool him, that his heart would stop beating so fast, trying to bring something that definitely wasn’t oxygen to his muscles, his blood redder than was really normal, his face pulsing with it. He could feel his clothes draw tight across him and wanted to loosen them, the first thing they tell you to do in first aid, loosen the victim’s clothes, lay them down, put something under their head, ask them questions. “Who’s the president of The United States? What’s your middle name? What year is it?” What year is it? He put his face right up to the open window, feeling like the wind was picking something up from it and was being absorbed just as quickly by Joe. He wanted him to have it. He had too much of it. He wanted to give Joe more than that, but waited for that feeling too to pass. He lowered the waistband of his jeans on his hips, easier to breathe, easier than the full bodily tumescence that would surely crush his lungs.



They’d been through this before, both of them, always after one of Hank’s parties, always on their way back to the dorm, always in the back seat with each other, always at the same time.

They did what they’d done before, fought over who would have the last word with Hank, hip-checking each other at the window, their arms too scared to touch, their feet connecting at the shoe, the metallic rattle of the old Volkswagen engine quietly observing. Whoever lost the battle, this time Adam, would hold the door open at the dorm, inhaling, telling himself he wouldn’t look this time, wouldn’t let his eyes drop as the other walked through.

Adam lost this battle too, and saw the curve of Joe’s right buttock, the tightening bulge before the drop at the thigh. He tried the opposite tack and exhaled hard, figuring it was his lungs that were taking up too much room in his torso, that whatever was hitting him this way was doing so because he’d never pushed it out. He hadn’t really exhaled it. He held as long as he could and didn’t breathe in again until the door had closed behind him, only to catch a whiff of Joe’s cologne. He was downwind of him, occupying the space Joe had just a moment before.



Joe figured a cigarette would help, would occupy his lips and hands for a few minutes, enough to change the subject at least, nothing like a substitute, but perhaps a distraction? He shook his head in the elevator, wanted to slap his own cheek, had been staring at Adam’s waistband, his thumb hooked into the side and sliding around it like it was getting the last of the frosting from the inside of the bowl. He watched the floors count up, a red light display calmly ticking off his pulse. His eyes blurred in the stare and they were a fuzzy glow, a warm reminder of his insides, also warm and red and climbing. Adam got off the elevator first and Joe stepped into his spot for a moment before exiting, seeing if the air was still warm there.



Adam opened the door to their room and asked Joe if he had to take a piss. He was taking a shower. Joe stepped around him without a touch and said no, he was fine. Tired, he said, probably too tired to sleep. Adam closed the door to the bathroom and turned the shower on, the handle all the way to the left and watched the cloud of steam escape around the shower curtain and over the mirror. He watched himself blur in it, taking his shoes off as his face disappeared, taking his shirt off as his chest disappeared, just catching a look at his erection, appearing as his jeans pulled down and then fuzzy in the mirror, a red patch in the steam. 



Joe paced outside of the bathroom door, trying to think of a viable reason for him to rush in there, press himself into Adam, feel his actual skin and flesh on him, his real body enveloping him. He leaned into the door, his hands on either side of it and listened, his eyes closing at the sound of Adam’s zipper, wondering how close he was. He listened to the white noise of the shower and imagined those drops taking parts of him, streaming down his body and carrying it into the drain. He imagined Adam’s eyes closed, his neck out, washing his hair, the soapy excess dripping down his back and over his ass. Joe undid his pants, knowing he had to walk away and change his clothes, but he stood there, his body falling into the door, his cheek against it. It was cold, but the air coming from the gap below was steam.



Adam lowered the toilet seat quietly and sat on it, a bottle of conditioner in his hand and imagined Joe in bed on the other side of the wall, facing him. He imagined lying down behind him and quietly undressing him, listening to him breathing, his warm skin like the steam around him. He imagined himself holding Joe’s cock, sticky and hot like his own in his hand. He imagined that he was making Joe feel what he was feeling, his leg twitching and his back arching. He imagined Joe’s face turning to him, his mouth open, waiting to taste his own, Joe’s wet mouth. Adam felt the droplets fall onto his lips and felt them as a kiss. His tongue swiped a taste of them.



Joe wondered how long he should linger there at the door, but figured he’d have enough time to jump into bed when he heard the water shut off. He wouldn’t be able to change in time, but he made a head start of it, stripping layers—shoes, socks, shirt, pants, underwear taken off and thrown onto the floor next to his bed. He kept his forehead to the door the entire time and when he was finished, pressed the rest of his body up to it, inching up by his toes in the carpet, the pile between them. His toes could feel the steam across them and he looked down at them, imagining they had some part of Adam to them. He saw his own cock, the red eye of it and gently pressed it too into the cold door. He turned his head and listened. His hands gripped the doorjamb tight. He heard a gasp. And another. He felt them as if they were his, or as if he had caused them. His lips opened again.



Adam’s left hand pressed into the wall between himself and Joe’s bed and seemed to fall into it, the sweat in his palm mixing with the now wet wallpaper. How close was his hand to Joe’s body? He lowered it to bed level and switched his rhythm. It was sugary syrup, his blood. His heart was working hard to move it. It gathered in spots, heavy parts of his body while others felt unnaturally light. In his mind, which seemed to get no blood at all except a sweet ephemeral vapor, Joe was somehow sucking him off and kissing his lips at the same time. Adam’s head turned in the yellow bathroom light, coming to rest on a towel rack. His knees clapped with every stroke.



Joe’s face wanted to sink through the door, wanted to fall into the room with Adam, wanted to land solid on top of Adam in the shower. He realized that his hips were moving, that he was humping the door. He licked his fingers and palm, rubbed the morsel of precome across it and encircled the tip of his cock, tremors in his shoulders and knees. He heard two more gasps from inside the bathroom and it was enough. His left hand gripped the doorjamb to keep him from slamming against the door and he pushed away, his come flying up and landing on his toes. He stood and exhaled hard, enough to empty his lungs and held there, not breathing again until he was flat in bed, wiping his feet with his shirt.



Adam heard the springs of the bed and imagined that he had just made Joe come, that Joe was tense in his arms, that he could smell him and somehow taste him, the little bit of Joe that he could taste. He made a fist on the wall and came, flying up and landing on his breastbone, his skin shivering between it and his heart. He waited a moment, the smell of Joe in his nose, and adjusted the shower a little colder before going in, aiming the showerhead at his chest.



The two men slept in separate beds, five feet between them and each hugged a pillow against their chest, imagining it was the other man.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

LOOK!

It's an honor. I'm mentally making out with you all. Sorry I just bit your lip so hard there.

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #88? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.


This Week’s Picks

The Other Night that I Was Waiting For

“We could have an entire relationship without ever leaving this spot.”


In the Beginning

“The actual piercing was exquisite – one fraction of a second of pain, followed by a feeling of pleasure like I have never experienced.”


A modern romance or just wanking off in front of the computer screen?

“And then there are some people you want in your bed. ”


Mr. Sugasm Himself

The Torture Porn Debate


Editor’s Choice

Never say never


More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.


(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

About the Other Night pt. 4

Apollo sandwich

The Beautiful Blue-Eyed Boy

Cum again

Do you remember

Down the enchanted pussy hole

Gropes and Kisses

Once You Go Black?

Out of Body

The Pirate Captain - Part V

A quickie

She Says “Relax…” (Thunderfuck)

Spell of Desire

Transmogrification and the Dakini - Part 5, Body


Sex Poetry

Twist in the Polaris


NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Half-Nekkid on Canada Day

I’m pretty sure you said…Pearl Necklace…

Too Much Details (video)


BDSM & Fetish

Broken Bath Brush

Catalina loves Choking

Discipline

Dream Sex Slave Day

Fetish Film: Tickling And Spanking: Greatest Hits

Flash on top of Mt. Seymour

Just go to sleep…

His test

My Fetishes (Roleplay)

New Story: Judicial Canings

You can’t camouflage hotness

You Take The Good, You Take The Bad


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

1st Blogiversary

Birth of the Stay at Home Nympho

Blowjob everywhere…

Deep Thoughts

Hall Passes & Pearls Before Swine

The Passion Hook


Sex News & Reviews

Mom would be so proud…

Stormy Leather


Sexy b&w pic courtesy of Catalina Loves Her Collar.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

In the Morning

Clay.

“He’s alright, really,” she said. “He gets quiet sometimes, watches more sports than I could ever take, sometimes doesn’t listen to me, but he’s a good guy. I’m not like, waiting for the other shoe to drop or anything.”

“Yeah, he watches more sports than I can take, really.”

Jackie’s sitting close to me so that we can hear each other, but I can smell her shampoo, something sweet, but not cloying, and I can smell her under it, the smell of her apartment that one time I met Josh over there, kind of citrus and sharp. Josh’s girlfriends have never been less than hot, Jackie exceptionally more than hot. It’s one of the reasons I’ve lived with him all these years, the eye candy that he brings home, marches in front of me with that proud smile. They’ve been everything from somewhat granola to somewhat playgirls, some friendly, some bitchy, some that talk too much, some not at all, but Jackie warmed up to me immediately. That’s what she is, warm, her hotness equal to her warmth. If that makes any sense. But to say that I like her isn’t really enough, and to say what I’d like to do with her, what I’ve pictured more realistically than any of Josh’s girlfriends every morning in the shower, is something that I can’t even talk to myself about. I can’t think about it in front of her. Just keeping my hands down now is hard enough.

She looks at Josh for a little while, arranging bits of her long, curly hair, trying to make a sensible part, her fingers sliding through the auburn, disappearing in it like mine do petting the cat. She gives up on this and pats my knee before putting her glass down. She picks my bottle up and shakes it in front of my face. Josh looks back and forth between the two of us. She leans in and asks, “Do you want another one?”

I can feel her breath on my ear. Josh bites the inside of his mouth and frowns slightly. “Nah, I’m wasted, actually. Bedtime.” I stand up and to the side so I don’t hit her in the face and stumble a little. My head spins. “Whoa. Yeah.” Jackie’s tits bounce as she stands up straight. I walk past her quickly, not daring to look at Josh again and go to my room, a final spin before I fall into bed and my eyes close, the vision behind them one of Jackie’s nipples in my mouth.

Void.

My head hurts, blurry and stingful in places. I’m thirsty. But I feel good. Why do I feel good? It’s like the best morning wood ever. If I go to the bathroom I won’t feel good like this anymore. I should do it anyway. I try to turn over, to roll off the bed, but I can’t. Why can’t I? I open my eyes, preparing myself for the glare of the sun and wait for them to adjust. That feeling… that’s a blowjob. That can’t be true, though. I look down, long curly hair shifting across my stomach. Jackie.

“He’s up,” Josh says.

“Mmf,” from Jackie.

I try to jump and run somewhere but I can’t. My arms won’t move. My legs won’t move. I look to my right arm and see one of my ties around the bedpost. To my left, another. I can’t see my feet, but can assume more of the same. I try to say, “What the fuck?” but hear, “Umm eh mug?” One of my ties is in my mouth. The lips that were on me pull off for a second and Jackie sits up between my knees.

“Good morning, Clay,” she says. Her mouth is shiny and wet. I see more apricot in the periphery. I look down. She’s naked, her tits a little droopy, but the nipples are hard and pink, layered like a volcano. Below is her stomach, a perfect little pouch of fat making her navel look like the hole in a bagel. Her thighs are long and thin and tan, between them, the triangle of my dreams. I can smell her now too. Pussy. Salt and savory. Josh comes up behind her and circles her in his arms. He’s naked too.

He says, “Clay, I couldn’t stand the way Jackie was looking at you last night. We had a huge fight. I love her, though, so I’m going to try this. I don’t think you’re going to mind. Just don’t let it go to your head, though, alright?”

Has he ever not gotten exactly what he wanted before? This is new.


Josh.

I let Jackie go, her wrist let go of last, because I want to pull her away, put her clothes back on, carry her into my bedroom and lock her in there until she learns to worship me and me alone, but I know that’s wrong and it’s time for me to give up this jealous bullshit. She’s right. I’m wrong. I’m trying to look at this objectively, because that’s what it is, Jackie and Clay are simply two other people, and whether I know them or not, they are only that. Jackie bends over again, lifts Clay’s cock and slowly drops her mouth over it. My prick twitches. It doesn’t know their names. I pull up a chair and sit in it, a bottle of lube in hand. I open it up and pour some down and I feel like I’m going down with it, losing. Losing a little of Jackie, though I’m not sure if even after this she’ll ever really be mine, losing, more importantly, a little piece of myself, part of my identity, ceding it to this girl, who drives me more than a little crazy. I close the bottle and put it down on the floor to my left.

A girl is there, skin shining in the light from the window. She is bent over the torso of a man about my age and body type. He’s tied down, but he’s clenched against it, almost floating above the bed, he’s pulling so hard. The girl’s ass, perfectly shaped, even little dimples at the top, lifts and falls, lifts and falls, like fucking. There are little lip-smacking noises, saliva and air and meat. There is the sound of her breasts hitting his thighs. He grunts occasionally. He’s getting off, big time. If she doesn’t make a move soon, he’s going to lose it in her mouth. I remember I can fuck her if I want, but I don’t want to right now. I want to see her screw the other guy, want to see her make him come, tied up to the bed against his will, what the girl can do to a guy. I want to tell her to do it, but I want to see if she knows what I want, if she’ll do what I want without having to say a word.

I grab into the side of the chair. There is another smack smack sound. My hand pumping away at my cock. It’s the best porn I’ve ever seen. The girl, Jackie, sits up, looks at me, then rearranges herself to climb on top of the guy, my roommate, Clay.


Jackie

Clay is perfect for this. He’s got a good body, but not too good. His good parts are only as good as Josh’s. Josh can’t find him threatening. And he’s into me. I know that. Not that he’s got a choice. I’ve never tied anyone down before, much less done it against their will. I’m so turned on that I feel like just thinking about this and playing with myself until I can think straight again. But I want to fuck him too, want to show him what Josh has got whenever he wants it. And I want to tease him, both of them. This is, after all, as flattering as it gets.

I put my fingers in my pussy, wet and swollen, desperate. Clay watches me, his eyes, their grey-blue sweetness so painful to see. I put my fingers in front of his nose. His eyes close and he takes it in. He’s mine. The struggling hasn’t been to get out but happiness, the full body takeover of sex. I lift his dick and slide him into me. His head bends back, but snaps forward again so he can watch. Josh gets up and puts another pillow under it. Clay looks at him for a second, then back at me, at my face at first and then down. I begin to ride him, to grind him and then ride him again. His eyes close to half. I look at Josh, standing next to Clay and me. He holds his hand out every once in a while, but doesn’t touch me. His knees are buckling, his fist slamming against himself. I want to watch him come, from this, from me fucking his roommate.

I can’t wait anymore and my fingers slide down on my clit. All of the energy of the room descends on me, on a spot just south of debauchery and north of love. I come for about a minute and a half, squeezing Clay so hard like I was trying to take him with me. I look at Josh once my eyes clear up and he’s smiling. He bends over to kiss me and I love him for it. He pulls away then, but leaves his hand on my shoulder.

Clay.

Oh. God. Josh is coming. He’s looking at her, his eyes losing focus. His stomach is clenched. He cracks out a moan and shoots, one, two, three on her tits. It ripples as she bounces on me. My arms pull tighter on the ties, trying to do anything to stop it, to make this last longer, but no use. I come like a champagne bottle thrown on a fire, my toes curling into a charley horse and an embarrassing, muffled squeal.

I’ve got to get some water, but they leave me on the bed, bound and gagged, ignoring the ties in my wrists.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Show

We left the party behind us, all screaming queens and really bad flirtation, through the alleys with drunk people in big rainbow hats, walking like pigeons in long groups, beers on each end, crossed streets to avoid long lines outside of clubs, onto quieter streets, full clusters of people in sidewalk cafés who had no idea what everyone was so sweaty and screaming about over there, and he led me up the stairs to my back door and I pretended not to have my keys, or to at least be in no hurry to find them. I kissed him the way that I do when I mean business, slow rolling, pressing him into the banister. I felt him get hard into my thigh. He had no choice, really, the friction alone would have made it happen. He looked abashed all the same, as if I’d never felt it before, his gorgeous cock getting where I want it to be. He smiled and knuckled his nose, avoiding eye contact when I touched it. He looked around him, as if we hadn’t been surrounded by half-naked men most of the day and night.

“Don’t worry,” I said, looking him straight in the eye when he found the courage to look at me, “someone’s always looking.” I unzipped his jeans and slid my hand in, no underwear, just sticky skin over soft, short pubes. He opened his mouth as if about to say something about going inside or being embarrassed, but I covered it before he could, tweaking his cock with a strong grab that made him whimper. He moved to my neck and bit into it, nervous energy and revenge. I gripped his dick harder and held the back of his head to me. “Bite all you want,” I said, “but take my pants off while you do.”

He grunted, with a short, sharp gnaw on my arm, then dropped to his knees, per the suggestion of my hand in his neck, and I watched the top of his head as his fingers got belt, button and zipper undone, as his fingers slipped my pants down, the underwear following, my cock dropping out, meeting his cheek in slaps. He didn’t go in right away, but regarded it instead, toyed it with his lips, looked up at me to see if we really were connected. My eyes drifted up, looking down at the alley, a blue-white streetlight casting sparkles in the broken glass, a man walking a zig-zag this way, overtaken by a small crowd of men in camouflage kilts. Going the other way were a small, older couple, hands over each other’s shoulders and behind them, screeching chubby girls on their cell phones. No one looked up. I felt a wet coolness, some friction, Brian’s tongue on me, then his fingers circling the shaft, the warmth of his mouth. I gripped the railing for a while and let my eyes shut.

He drank me in, sucked when I needed a suck, slipped around when I needed that. I melted there, slowing giving up to the sensations, the prickles in my neck and the hot, high tension in my back. I woke myself up with a moan and opened my eyes, looking down again at the alley. Now there were two men looking, watching. People passing looked at what they were looking at and most of them quickly turned away, but some lingered, unafraid, before walking on. The two who were watching weren’t saying anything to each other. They leaned on a wall, their shoulders pressed into each other. They were both tall and muscular, one with a shaved head and the other in short curls. One put his hand on the other’s belt. Another man walked by in a baseball cap, looked at them, then looked at us, passed them and he too leaned against the wall, staring. Brian picked up a little and I stopped him, called him up by the shoulders.

He winced when he saw me looking behind him, pressed his forehead into my cheek and said, “Please tell me no one’s looking.”

“No one’s looking,” I said.

I turned around and opened up my screen door. I’d placed a bottle of lube inside this morning, just in case I could get Brian to do this. “Shit,” I heard him say.

I turned around and saw him watching me, waiting for me to open the door. I bent him over the railing, lubed generously, opened him with my fingers and then pushed my cock in, the tip slowly disappearing between the cheeks. I looked up and saw there were five watchers now, leaning quietly against their wall, all just observing, though the first couple had turned slight into each other, their hands below each other’s beltlines.

“We’re going to get arrested,” Brian said.

I was just beginning to truly pump, my body slowly burning away, my mind with the watchers, what they were thinking, what they were doing, what they would do.

“Ahm. Ah. Don’t look at them.”

“How can I not?”

I covered his eyes with my hand and pressed on, starting to quake a little with every hit. With every burial of my cock in his ass. One of the watchers, a cigarette dangling from his shaking fingers, dropped his arm into his jeans and moved it slowly, arching a little against the wall. I watched him, our looks matching each other, open mouths and wide eyes.

“Say something,” I said, Brian’s eyelashes curling under my fingers.

“No!”

“Please.”

“Please come.”

“Louder.”

“Come! Come now!”

The watchers all visibly jolted. My heels raised up, pumping madly now and I almost lost my footing. “Okay,” I said and pulled out of him. I turned him to face me again and leapt up on the railing, my feet hooked into the slats, jerking myself off. “Okay, good, aw fuck that’s… good… OH!” The come flew up and hit in three places on his shirt. Brian was pulling his pants up when I opened my eyes, his face turned away from the watchers. I rolled a splotch of come on my finger and dipped it in his mouth, then rolled another and put it in mine. I kissed him, winked at the watchers and fished my keys out of my pocket.

Monday, July 2, 2007

The Shu that Gasmed (or Stuff for You)

This week's linkage from Sugasm.

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #87? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.


This Week’s Picks

Ménage

“Sometimes, she’s even more the centre of things than he is, since she is a more recent addition to the dynamic, and since we both adore her.”


Money and Sex

“And then in walks sex, #1 potential button pusher of all times.”


Denied - 11

“There’s a click, and a lifting of restriction, and cool, soothing moistness.”


Mr. Sugasm Himself

The Skeptical Pornographer: The G-Spot.


Editor’s Choice

A fitting for a marriage


More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.


(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)


Sex News & Reviews

Fun Factory Layaspot Mini Vibrator Review

NEW Designs Throughout the Shop!


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Adult Meme: Q & A

A Brief History of Literature

Cockwhore 101 - Spitting

Have You Ever Used A Vibrator So Long That Even After You Stopped It Still Tingled?

Internet fuck buddy

Is it in yet?

It’s Behind You! Hurry Before It

Lesbian Sexuality 101

Q & A For (More Than) One (I Hope!)

Persian “Lover” - Part Two

Read Me

TMI, Anyone?

What if today was the last day?


BDSM & Fetish

Bait

Beer bottles and nipple clamps

Daddy’s little girl

Featured Fetish Film: Lez Go Retro (Lingerie, Nylon, Lesbian)

Ms160 celebrates a birthday

Oh, Sweet Release! (Kinda)

Parking again

Scenes From My Bedroom - Part 1: Taken

Space


Sex Work

The Art of Teasing


NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

BodyPaint - Pictorial Presentation

Breann McGregor Undressed Nude Pictures

Deep Tongue Lovin’

LSG Models’ Latest Erotic Photos and Video

San Francisco Pride Pix


Sex & Politics

The no porn pledge (And my response to other misguided people)

Watching Big Love…


Erotic Writing and Experiences

Dirty Talking Girl

Hot Summer Nights are a Voyeur’s Dream

I know u want to

In Love With Her Best Friend

Laid

Saved By The Bell

Sexual Dreams~ ~#1

Silver Screen

Sleepy Time

Sweet Release

Unfinished

When Joe Brought Suzy Home 3


Groovy sexy model courtesy of The Erotica Journals.