Saturday, July 7, 2007

In the Morning


“He’s alright, really,” she said. “He gets quiet sometimes, watches more sports than I could ever take, sometimes doesn’t listen to me, but he’s a good guy. I’m not like, waiting for the other shoe to drop or anything.”

“Yeah, he watches more sports than I can take, really.”

Jackie’s sitting close to me so that we can hear each other, but I can smell her shampoo, something sweet, but not cloying, and I can smell her under it, the smell of her apartment that one time I met Josh over there, kind of citrus and sharp. Josh’s girlfriends have never been less than hot, Jackie exceptionally more than hot. It’s one of the reasons I’ve lived with him all these years, the eye candy that he brings home, marches in front of me with that proud smile. They’ve been everything from somewhat granola to somewhat playgirls, some friendly, some bitchy, some that talk too much, some not at all, but Jackie warmed up to me immediately. That’s what she is, warm, her hotness equal to her warmth. If that makes any sense. But to say that I like her isn’t really enough, and to say what I’d like to do with her, what I’ve pictured more realistically than any of Josh’s girlfriends every morning in the shower, is something that I can’t even talk to myself about. I can’t think about it in front of her. Just keeping my hands down now is hard enough.

She looks at Josh for a little while, arranging bits of her long, curly hair, trying to make a sensible part, her fingers sliding through the auburn, disappearing in it like mine do petting the cat. She gives up on this and pats my knee before putting her glass down. She picks my bottle up and shakes it in front of my face. Josh looks back and forth between the two of us. She leans in and asks, “Do you want another one?”

I can feel her breath on my ear. Josh bites the inside of his mouth and frowns slightly. “Nah, I’m wasted, actually. Bedtime.” I stand up and to the side so I don’t hit her in the face and stumble a little. My head spins. “Whoa. Yeah.” Jackie’s tits bounce as she stands up straight. I walk past her quickly, not daring to look at Josh again and go to my room, a final spin before I fall into bed and my eyes close, the vision behind them one of Jackie’s nipples in my mouth.


My head hurts, blurry and stingful in places. I’m thirsty. But I feel good. Why do I feel good? It’s like the best morning wood ever. If I go to the bathroom I won’t feel good like this anymore. I should do it anyway. I try to turn over, to roll off the bed, but I can’t. Why can’t I? I open my eyes, preparing myself for the glare of the sun and wait for them to adjust. That feeling… that’s a blowjob. That can’t be true, though. I look down, long curly hair shifting across my stomach. Jackie.

“He’s up,” Josh says.

“Mmf,” from Jackie.

I try to jump and run somewhere but I can’t. My arms won’t move. My legs won’t move. I look to my right arm and see one of my ties around the bedpost. To my left, another. I can’t see my feet, but can assume more of the same. I try to say, “What the fuck?” but hear, “Umm eh mug?” One of my ties is in my mouth. The lips that were on me pull off for a second and Jackie sits up between my knees.

“Good morning, Clay,” she says. Her mouth is shiny and wet. I see more apricot in the periphery. I look down. She’s naked, her tits a little droopy, but the nipples are hard and pink, layered like a volcano. Below is her stomach, a perfect little pouch of fat making her navel look like the hole in a bagel. Her thighs are long and thin and tan, between them, the triangle of my dreams. I can smell her now too. Pussy. Salt and savory. Josh comes up behind her and circles her in his arms. He’s naked too.

He says, “Clay, I couldn’t stand the way Jackie was looking at you last night. We had a huge fight. I love her, though, so I’m going to try this. I don’t think you’re going to mind. Just don’t let it go to your head, though, alright?”

Has he ever not gotten exactly what he wanted before? This is new.


I let Jackie go, her wrist let go of last, because I want to pull her away, put her clothes back on, carry her into my bedroom and lock her in there until she learns to worship me and me alone, but I know that’s wrong and it’s time for me to give up this jealous bullshit. She’s right. I’m wrong. I’m trying to look at this objectively, because that’s what it is, Jackie and Clay are simply two other people, and whether I know them or not, they are only that. Jackie bends over again, lifts Clay’s cock and slowly drops her mouth over it. My prick twitches. It doesn’t know their names. I pull up a chair and sit in it, a bottle of lube in hand. I open it up and pour some down and I feel like I’m going down with it, losing. Losing a little of Jackie, though I’m not sure if even after this she’ll ever really be mine, losing, more importantly, a little piece of myself, part of my identity, ceding it to this girl, who drives me more than a little crazy. I close the bottle and put it down on the floor to my left.

A girl is there, skin shining in the light from the window. She is bent over the torso of a man about my age and body type. He’s tied down, but he’s clenched against it, almost floating above the bed, he’s pulling so hard. The girl’s ass, perfectly shaped, even little dimples at the top, lifts and falls, lifts and falls, like fucking. There are little lip-smacking noises, saliva and air and meat. There is the sound of her breasts hitting his thighs. He grunts occasionally. He’s getting off, big time. If she doesn’t make a move soon, he’s going to lose it in her mouth. I remember I can fuck her if I want, but I don’t want to right now. I want to see her screw the other guy, want to see her make him come, tied up to the bed against his will, what the girl can do to a guy. I want to tell her to do it, but I want to see if she knows what I want, if she’ll do what I want without having to say a word.

I grab into the side of the chair. There is another smack smack sound. My hand pumping away at my cock. It’s the best porn I’ve ever seen. The girl, Jackie, sits up, looks at me, then rearranges herself to climb on top of the guy, my roommate, Clay.


Clay is perfect for this. He’s got a good body, but not too good. His good parts are only as good as Josh’s. Josh can’t find him threatening. And he’s into me. I know that. Not that he’s got a choice. I’ve never tied anyone down before, much less done it against their will. I’m so turned on that I feel like just thinking about this and playing with myself until I can think straight again. But I want to fuck him too, want to show him what Josh has got whenever he wants it. And I want to tease him, both of them. This is, after all, as flattering as it gets.

I put my fingers in my pussy, wet and swollen, desperate. Clay watches me, his eyes, their grey-blue sweetness so painful to see. I put my fingers in front of his nose. His eyes close and he takes it in. He’s mine. The struggling hasn’t been to get out but happiness, the full body takeover of sex. I lift his dick and slide him into me. His head bends back, but snaps forward again so he can watch. Josh gets up and puts another pillow under it. Clay looks at him for a second, then back at me, at my face at first and then down. I begin to ride him, to grind him and then ride him again. His eyes close to half. I look at Josh, standing next to Clay and me. He holds his hand out every once in a while, but doesn’t touch me. His knees are buckling, his fist slamming against himself. I want to watch him come, from this, from me fucking his roommate.

I can’t wait anymore and my fingers slide down on my clit. All of the energy of the room descends on me, on a spot just south of debauchery and north of love. I come for about a minute and a half, squeezing Clay so hard like I was trying to take him with me. I look at Josh once my eyes clear up and he’s smiling. He bends over to kiss me and I love him for it. He pulls away then, but leaves his hand on my shoulder.


Oh. God. Josh is coming. He’s looking at her, his eyes losing focus. His stomach is clenched. He cracks out a moan and shoots, one, two, three on her tits. It ripples as she bounces on me. My arms pull tighter on the ties, trying to do anything to stop it, to make this last longer, but no use. I come like a champagne bottle thrown on a fire, my toes curling into a charley horse and an embarrassing, muffled squeal.

I’ve got to get some water, but they leave me on the bed, bound and gagged, ignoring the ties in my wrists.

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